 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
There was a vampires called Mable
Whos' periods were particularly stable
By the light of the moon, she would whip out a spoon
And drink herself under the table
That was a terrible song
Sing us another one,
just like the other one
sing us another one do
chorus
There once was a man called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
It was'nt his luck to have a cold f**k
But think of the money he saved
chorus
There was a young man from Ensell
Whos' prick was as sharp as a pencil
He once went through an actress, 2 sheets and a matress
And then through a china utensil
chorus
There was a young man of St James
Who indulged in the jolliest of games
He lighted the rim, of his grandmother's quim
A nd laughed as she p*ssed through the flames
chorus
There was a young man named Adair
Who was f***ing a girl on the stair
The bannister broke, and by doubling his stroke
He finished her off in mid air
chorus
There was a young man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
Great tufts of grass, sprouted from his ass
And his bollocks were covered in weeds
chorus
There was a young man of high station
Who was found by a pious relation
Making love in a ditch, to - I won't say a bitch -
But a woman of no reputation
chorus
A policeman from near Clapham Junction
Had a penis that just wouldn't function
For the rest of his life, he misled his wife
With some snot on the end of his truncheon
chorus
There was a young girl from Cape Cod
Who thought that all babes came from God
It wasn't the Almighty who lifted her nightie
It was Roger the lodger the sod
chorus
An insatiable nymph from Penzance
Travelled by bus to south Hant
Five others f***ed her, besides the conductor
And the driver came twice in his pants
chorus
There was a young Scot from Delray
Who buggered his father one day
Saying I like it rather, to stuff it up father
He’s clean and there’s nothing to pay!